We all have beliefs about money, but most of us don’t realize just how deeply these beliefs—our money scripts—affect our financial decisions (or indecisions) and overall well-being. The term "money scripts," coined by researchers from Kansas State University (Drs Brad & Ted Klontz), refers to the unconscious patterns that shape our relationship with money. These scripts, often formed in childhood and reinforced over time, influence how we earn, spend, save, and invest. They can be beneficial or detrimental, often operating beneath our awareness and steering us toward financial behaviors that may not serve our best interests.
The good news? By identifying and transforming these money scripts, we can escape cycles of dysfunction and chart a course toward financial health. Research has shown that understanding these scripts can lead to significant positive changes in our financial lives. By bringing these unconscious beliefs to the surface, we can challenge and reframe them, replacing harmful patterns with healthier, more constructive financial habits. This process of self-discovery and change allows for achieving long-term financial stability and well-being.
The Science of Money Scripts
According to the Klontzes, money scripts are deeply ingrained beliefs about money, typically formed in childhood and reinforced over time. Their research suggests they fall into four main categories:
Money Avoidance: This script involves viewing money with a certain level of discomfort or negativity. People with this script might feel that money is somewhat problematic or that they are not entirely deserving of wealth. They may avoid dealing with finances and shy away from opportunities that could improve their financial situation.
Money Worship: Those with this script tend to believe that having more money will lead to greater happiness and can solve most of life's problems. They might prioritize earning and accumulating wealth, sometimes at the expense of other important aspects of life, believing that financial success is the key to overall well-being.
Money Status: This script involves linking one's self-worth to their financial status. People with this mindset may feel validated by their wealth and use it as a measure of their success and value. They might focus on outward displays of wealth to gain approval or recognition from others.
Money Vigilance: Individuals with this script exercise a high degree of caution when it comes to finances. They are careful and responsible with their money, which can be beneficial. However, this can also lead to a tendency to worry excessively about financial matters, potentially preventing them from enjoying the security and comfort their financial discipline provides.
These scripts profoundly influence our financial behaviors, decisions, and outcomes. In fact, research would suggest they are the most influential aspects of our financial decision making. Perhaps you see yourself in one of these money scripts, or maybe you don’t. It’s also possible that you have a mix of conflicting scripts. Understanding your unique blend of money scripts can provide crucial insights into your financial behaviors and help you manage them more effectively. Whether you align with a single script or experience a combination, recognizing these patterns is the first step towards better understanding your money scripts and can lead to a healthier relationship with your finances.
Growing up with a post-war father who built a highly successful career in commodities trading with one of the largest companies in the world, profoundly shaped my entrepreneurial money script. Despite his financial expertise, he was deeply committed to stability, you might say vigilant, often saying, "I will never invest our family money in the commodities market." This cautious approach ensured our financial security but seemed overly (and unnecessarily) conservative to me. I remember thinking, "A few smart trades and we could be set for life, maybe even buy a place in the Muskokas."
Watching my father avoid risks, despite his market knowledge, led me to adopt a different money script centered on the belief that calculated risks could lead to significant rewards and financial freedom. My money script also included a strong belief that there was always more money to be unearthed, and that risk was good, driving my sense of abundance and opportunity. This mindset, while empowering, would most certainly get me into trouble at different points in my life, leading to overconfidence and a few financial missteps along the way.
Midlife: The Perfect Time To Reconcile Your Relationship With Money.
Midlife often brings about a period of reflection and exploration—a time when we reassess various aspects of our lives. It's the perfect opportunity to put money scripts on the table, examining those financial beliefs that have quietly influenced our decisions for years. Here’s how you can do it:
Identify Your Scripts: Reflect on your financial behaviors and attitudes. What are your earliest money memories? What messages did you receive about money growing up? If you need some help doing so, you can find the Klontz Money Script Inventory through a quick Google search.
Explore Their Origins: Once you’ve pinpointed your money scripts, it’s helpful to delve into their origins. Our money scripts typically form during childhood, influenced by the attitudes and behaviors of our parents, peers or other key societal influences.
Examine the Evidence: Are these beliefs helping you achieve your financial goals, or are they holding you back?
Reframe Your Beliefs: Work to replace harmful money scripts with healthier, more constructive beliefs. Recognize the power that a renewed relationship with money could have on your life and those around you.
Seek Outside Help: If your money scripts aren’t serving you well in midlife, an outside perspective can make all the difference. Coaches and therapists can help facilitate insights that are hard to see on your own. They can help you identify and unpack your deep-seated money scripts, and offer up tools and strategies to reshape your money scripts.
The Path Forward
Achieving financial well-being isn’t just about managing money; it’s about understanding the psychological factors driving our financial decisions. By exploring and challenging our money scripts, we can pave the way for a more conscious, fulfilling financial life.
Midlife offers a unique opportunity to pause, reflect, and realign our financial habits with our true values and intentions. Our accumulated wisdom and introspection of these years can serve as powerful catalysts for redefining your financial beliefs. By understanding and reshaping your money scripts, you can improve your financial health.
In a world where money - and our relationship to it - undeniably influences our lives, we need to ask ourselves: Are we in control of our financial destiny, or are we simply following old, inherited scripts? The power to change is within each of us. Midlife provides a chance to take a step back, examine our money stories, and make conscious choices that lead to more of what you really want in life.
Reflection Questions
1. What are your earliest memories of money? How did they shape your beliefs?
2. What messages about money did you receive from your family growing up?
3. How do your money scripts influence your current financial decisions?
4. Are your money scripts helping or hindering your financial goals?
Podcast Recommendation
The Most Hated F-Word with Shaun Maslyk
At The Most Hated F-Word Podcast, they discuss money stories through relatable conversations with everyday people, academics, artists, and authors. Find joy in your unique money story as they explore human relationships with wealth, shaping evolving stories of happiness and wealth together.
