When we talk about health and longevity, we often consider factors like diet, exercise and genetics while overlooking something we now know to be a key element in both: our mindset. Mindset is the lens through which we view the world—our beliefs, attitudes, and assumptions that guide our actions and reactions.- Our mindset significantly impacts our overall well-being, our happiness, and yes, even our lifespan. The good news? We have more power to shift our mindsets than you might think.

Let's explore five mindset habits that, if ignored, can diminish our health, our well-being and our longevity.  For each, I've included links to self-exploration assessment tools. If you uncover areas that concern you, consider using these insights as a starting point to create a plan for growth. It can be helpful to explore these with a trusted friend, coach, or therapist. Remember - no matter how deeply entrenched your mental habits may seem, you really are capable of making positive change.

Habit 1: Chronic Complaining – The Art of Self Sabotage

You'll miss the beauty of the sunrise if all you see are the clouds.

Habitual complaining, like a stealthy thief, robs us of joy and vitality without us even realizing it.  Whether we’re unloading about workplace stress, personal challenges, or the state of the world, constant whingeing takes a toll on our emotional resilience and our physical health. Research shows the significant negative impact of habitual complaining, including how it increases stress, weakens our immune system, and leaves us more susceptible to chronic illnesses. The good news here is that complaining is a learned behaviour, which means we can also unlearn it. 

Now, I’m not saying you should stop talking about your struggles or stresses. Research also shows that looking honestly at our struggles and sharing them with each other (aka vulnerability) is also important for our overall well-being. Much of Brene Brown’s research has focused here. The trouble starts when we get stuck ruminating on the negatives. 

So, what do we do? Complain less - and more selectively. Complaining less doesn't necessarily mean adopting a positive outlook or finding silver linings everywhere. It actually just starts with noticing when and why your complaining habit kicks in,  deciding what’s really worth complaining about, and then cutting back, even just a bit. 

The simple act of complaining less can have a significant positive impact on your health and well-being. To that end, using a tool like the Positive and Negative Affect Schedule (PANAS) to understand our tendency to complain can be really helpful. I came across this valuable assessment tool during my master's program; it's like a mirror that shows how our emotions affect our actions. By spotting early on the negative feelings that lead to complaining - things like irritability or dissatisfaction - we can make small shifts toward a more positive mindset and tackle problems constructively. Check out the PANAS assessment if you're curious!

Habit 2: Ongoing Worry – The Mind’s Quicksand

A mentor once likened worry to a rocking chair—lots of movement but no progress. Worrying about the future from time to time is normal — we've all been there. The knot in your stomach, the "what ifs" swirling in your mind. But when worry becomes your constant companion, it takes a toll on your health. Regularly dwelling on negative possibilities, often about things outside of our control, can keep us trapped in a maze of anxiety and unrest.

Our bodies are designed to cope with reasonable levels of stress. When you face a threat, your brain sends signals to release hormones like adrenaline and cortisol, which prepare your body to deal with the danger and get you to safety. These hormones boost your heart rate, blood pressure, and energy levels. But if stressors keep coming, or if our minds continue to focus on what we perceive as potential threats or dangers, our bodies will keep sending those signals, leaving us feeling  constantly on edge. This can disrupt your body's natural balance and, if left unchecked,  contribute to health issues like anxiety, depression, headaches, and heart problems.

The Penn State Worry Questionnaire (PSWQ) is a tool that helps us explore and understand our propensity to worry. By completing it, you can get a clearer picture of how much and how often you tend to worry about different things in your life. You can then use the findings to explore avenues for improving your relationship with worry. If you're curious about your own worry tendencies, you can find the PSWQ assessment here.  

Habit 3: Going it Alone  – Loneliness the Silent Epidemic

In a hyperconnected world, loneliness is a silent and growing epidemic. The ache of isolation transcends emotion and seeps into our very physiology. I've seen firsthand how loneliness can cast a shadow over vibrant lives, leading to a myriad of health challenges. Loneliness and social isolation can have profound effects on your physical health. Studies have linked loneliness to an increased risk of cardiovascular disease, cognitive decline, depression, and even premature death. Human beings are social creatures, and meaningful social connections are essential for our well-being. When we don’t have social support, our minds and bodies suffer.

There are several roads that can lead to loneliness, some beyond our control, while others require us to explore (and challenge) our mindset and beliefs. The reluctance to reach out often arises from complex, intertwined factors. For some, seeking assistance is seen as a vulnerability, creating an inflated belief in their own strength that inadvertently detracts from meaningful connections. Others fear being exposed, choosing to keep their struggles hidden, which only amplifies feelings of loneliness. Cultural norms that promote self-reliance also play a role, placing pressure on individuals to handle challenges independently.

When we embrace the idea that seeking support doesn't diminish our strength but amplifies it, we unlock the potential to forge genuine connections and foster vibrant communities. Embracing vulnerability and bravely challenging the stigma around asking for help propels us toward a path of well-being, where meaningful connections flourish and our collective resilience grows stronger.

The UCLA Loneliness Scale is a tool that can help shed light on our feelings of loneliness. By taking the time to answer its questions, we can gain valuable insights into how often, and in what situations, we experience loneliness. Remember, exploring these feelings is a brave step toward understanding and improving our emotional well-being. If you're curious about your own feelings of loneliness, you can find the UCLA Loneliness Scale here. 

Habit 4: Minimizing Meaning – The Soul’s Compass

Ever felt like you're drifting, lacking direction and devoid of purpose? It's a sentiment many grapple with in our fast-paced, achievement-driven world. Living a life without a clear sense of meaning can lead to a deep sense of emptiness and unfulfillment. Research consistently highlights that individuals grappling with this lack of meaning tend to face heightened levels of stress, depression and overall dissatisfaction. Conversely, those who anchor themselves in a strong sense of meaning often exhibit greater resilience in navigating life's challenges, experience improved mental well-being, and may even enjoy longer, healthier lives.

There’s a lot that we could unpack here, including how we define, pursue and nurture a sense of meaning in our lives. Dr. Michael F. Steger's research delves into the core of human well-being, highlighting the importance of finding meaning in life. Through his Meaning in Life Questionnaire and extensive studies, he uncovers how having a sense of purpose impacts happiness, contentment and inner strength. Steger acknowledges that everyone pursues meaning in different ways, and those actively seeking it often experience greater well-being. He explores various life stages, delving into practical aspects like meaningful work and strategies for mental wellness. Steger's work emphasizes that meaning isn't just an abstract concept; it's a vital part of our overall wellness, influencing our daily satisfaction and long-term resilience. If you're interested in taking this assessment, you can do that here. 

Habit 5:  Rigid Thinking – The Shackles of Certainty

"Life is a balance between holding on and letting go." - Rumi

If life is a river, ever flowing and evolving, many of us cling to the banks out of fear of the unknown. When we approach life with a fixed mindset, we believe our abilities and traits are set in stone, immune to the possibility of growth or change; these beliefs mean we often resist and even fear change and new ideas. Research shows that these kinds of rigid beliefs and thinking patterns can seriously hinder our ability to navigate life's ups and downs. We struggle to adapt, solve problems, and cope effectively, leaving us feeling behind and stuck. No wonder a fixed mindset often leads to increased stress and decreased well-being. 

On the flip side, embracing a growth mindset—believing in our potential for learning and growth—encourages flexibility, resilience, and a healthier approach to life's challenges. It's about being open to new experiences, learning from our failures, and staying curious, which ultimately leads to a more fulfilling and satisfying life. 

If you’re feeling stuck, convinced you can't achieve certain goals or acquire new skills, it might be a sneaky fixed mindset whispering in your ear. This kind of feeling can be especially discouraging in midlife. The good news is you can cultivate a growth mindset at any age - and simple shifts can make a big difference. 

Reframing your self-talk is a good place to start on the road to greater openness and adaptability. If challenges or setbacks feel like roadblocks, and you find yourself saying “I can’t do this!” Or “I’ll never get it,” practice replacing those with phrases like “I can’t do this yet!” And “I’m still learning." It may feel silly at first, but it works. A growth mindset can help make your second half a vibrant chapter filled with exploration, discovery, and growth.

Are you curious about your openness and adaptability? The Big Five Personality Traits Assessment is a fantastic tool to explore these aspects of your personality. By delving into the dimensions of openness to experience and adaptability, you can gain insights into how you approach new ideas, experiences, and challenges. Embracing this exploration can lead to a deeper understanding of yourself and how you navigate the world around you. If you're ready to uncover more about your personality, you can take the Big Five Personality Traits Assessment here.  

‍Cultivating mindsets for growth and longevity

Our thoughts hold significant influence, shaping not just our daily experiences but also our long-term well-being and lifespan. As we've explored the five mindset challenges—chronic complaining, ongoing worry, loneliness, lack of purpose, and rigid thinking—it's helpful to recognize their potential impact on our lives. If any of these resonate with you, consider this your call to action. Consider building a plan to form new habits that counteract these life-diminishing detractors. By taking proactive steps to cultivate things like optimism, openness, resilience, joy, curiosity, social connection, meaning, and adaptability, we can pave the way for a longer, healthier, and more fulfilling journey ahead.

‍