As we hit our 40s and 50s, that intriguing space between young and old, we often find ourselves with a case of what we’ll call midlife malaise. It's the time when you start questioning yourself, feeling a bit restless, and experiencing a touch of discontent. We all go through it. It's like this inner tug-of-war, where you look back at your life's journey and wonder if you've been on the right track, achieved what you set out to, or if there's something even more meaningful waiting for you to uncover.
“[Midlife] Malaise is that experience of rusting out – feeling uninspired, apathetic, disinterested – coasting on autopilot or just plain stuck” (Pat Katz blog). Something doesn't feel quite right, but you can't put your finger on it. Midlife malaise can manifest differently in individuals. Some experience it as a sense of unfulfillment in their career or personal life, while others may grapple with existential questions about purpose and mortality. It's essential to recognize that experiencing these feelings is entirely normal and a sign that you are evolving as a person. Rather than viewing it as a crisis, consider it an opportunity to reassess priorities, course correct and lead a fulfilling life.
Here's a few things to keep in mind if this resonates with you.
Hold yourself capable.
No one’s coming to lead you through the midlife. That is up to you. If you're feeling the itch of discontent or questioning the impact of your choices, understand this – the power to recalibrate lies squarely with you. Dive into those emotions, ponder them, and don't shy away from the discomfort; it's the very spark that ignites transformation.
Lead the whole you.
Leading yourself through midlife means taking care of your whole self, beyond your career or external achievements. It requires nurturing your emotional health, fostering meaningful relationships (heart), maintaining physical well-being (body), continuous learning (mind), and preserving your sense of life's purpose (soul). Leading yourself during midlife hinges on taking care of all these facets of your being.
Ask the Big questions.
Midlife malaise can be your cue for some deep soul-searching. Consider rolling up our sleeves and ask yourself those big questions:
These questions are like a compass, helping us navigate the terrain. Self-reflection? It's your ticket to kickstarting meaningful change.
Reevaluate your goals and priorities.
As you reflect, you may find that some of your goals and priorities have shifted over the years. Things that used to be tremendously important to you, may no longer be. Use this period of midlife malaise to reevaluate your aspirations. Are there new directions you'd like to pursue or old ones you'd like to revisit, or, let go of? Realigning your goals can reignite your sense of purpose and motivation.
Seek Professional Guidance
Midlife malaise can be challenging to navigate on your own. Consider seeking the help of a coach or therapist who specializes in midlife transitions. They can provide valuable insights, strategies, and support to help you navigate this phase with greater clarity.
Open your mind.
The research is conclusive, how we view aging is the biggest factor in whether we have a positive or negative midlife transition. People who focus on what aging takes away will have a harder time with midlife than those who acknowledge (even appreciate) the opportunity aging provides. Midlife malaise often occurs when we resist change or cling to outdated beliefs and habits. Embrace the idea that change is a natural part of life and that adaptability. Be open to trying new experiences, exploring new interests, and stepping out of your comfort zone.
Double down on your relationships.
Midlife is a golden opportunity to invest in (or, rekindle) relationships. Reach out to your loved ones, friends, and family. Share what's on your mind, let them in on your feelings, and be all ears when they share their own journeys. These meaningful connections are like a lifeline, offering emotional support and a deep sense of belonging, which, believe me, can be your secret weapon in tackling midlife malaise head-on.
Midlife malaise isn't something to dread; it's a chance for personal growth and self- discovery. Life's dips are as common as a change in seasons, and they usually pass faster than you think. By harnessing this phase as a catalyst for self-examination and change, you can come out of it stronger, more purposeful, and with a clear(er) sense of where you're headed. Embrace the journey of rediscovering yourself, align your goals with your values, and remember, it's never too late to craft a more fulfilling and meaningful life.
Peace in your travels,
~ Pete
